Teen boy calls out twin brother for copying him since birth, which disallowed him from being his own person for 16 years: ‘I literally had no space to develop my own personality away from him’

Author image for Lana DeGaetano
Lana DeGaetano • "Show me to me please."
Jun 29, 2025 11:00 AM EDT

Folks always talk about how much they'd love having a twin if they could. While it may be a novelty—you know, having another half of you that hung out in the womb with you for nine months—it definitely isn't all sunshine and rainbows. How do you differentiate yourself from them? Can you manage to be your own person when you have someone who looks just like you, following you around since birth, never allowing you to grow on your own? Having a twin like this isn't always the case, but it definitely happens. One half of a twin pair explains that in this next story.

They've been stuck together like glue since they were babies. No matter what activities the twin who posted this story tried to get into, his brother followed suit every time. It makes sense. If you've spent your entire life with someone, and you haven't fully developed your own sense of self, figuring out who you truly are might instill a special kind of fear in you. However, the twin believes that's not his problem, which also makes sense. What would you do in this situation? Scroll below to read the full story.

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  • "[He] has always copied me, and I don't know why."
    via Gábor Szűts for Unsplash

    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

  • "AITA for telling my twin brother to stop copying me and to get his own life"

    So for some context, I 16M have a twin brother, also 16M who I'll call Jake. Jake has always copied me, and I don't know why. At first I
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  • wasn't too annoyed but now It's really grating on me. So far I've never had a hobby that has been my own. Because the moment I
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  • joined he was right there with me. We have the same social group as well, and It's really starting to annoy me that he's always there.
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  • Whatever interests I have. I like MMA, I'm in the wrestling team, and I like writing poetry. He always has to watch the same
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  • shows, films, and read the same books as me. Even if he doesn't understand it, if I'm reading/watching he will. My
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  • friend/writing buddy Natalie suggested I read Paradise Lost, and I saw him reading that exact book even though he probably can't even comprehend it.
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  • When I joined the wrestling team he kept bragging to the others how the coach let me in based on his recommendation even though
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  • I joined first. He just copied me. The only safe haven I had was writing poetry because he didn't know I did it. Natalie and I usually
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  • meet at the library to discuss our work and other interesting authors like Kafka or Tolstoy. We were talking about in the
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  • halls, and I saw my brother reading it this afternoon. I quit the wrestling team recently because my brother was getting
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  • on my nerves, I left MMA for a similar reason. My mom asked me at dinner why I quit and I didn't go into it. She pressed me
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  • for an answer and I snapped and said because he always follows me everywhere. We have the same friend group, same everything, and I yelled at him to leave me the h I alone and get his own life.
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  • SON as 31
    via Chris Chow for Unsplash

    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

  • My mom said that he just wants to be closer, and I replied that the problem was that he was too close. I literally had no space to develop my own personality away
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  • from him. My mom said I was being ride and ungrateful and sent me to my room. Honestly, I feel like he is that creature from
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  • that Midnight episode from Doctor Who. My dad sided with my mom and said he would have loved to have a brother like that.
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  • I'm planning on joining my schools literature/writing club so hopefully my brother leaves me alone then since I can't imagine he has any original thought. Was I wrong here?
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  • TwoUnited7031 Middle aged twin here. You both absolutely need your own things and identities. Tell your parents I said so. Being a twin is cool and we still enjoy doing things together. But never 100%. Our parents made sure we were in
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  • different classrooms in school from the very beginning. We are both happier and more fulfilled because we have separate but still overlapping lives. I would hate for you to move out at 18 and completely ice out your brother the rest of your life. NTA
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  • Additional_State_485 You're not wrong for wanting to find your identity outside of your brother.
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parents of teens teens family drama school teenagers siblings reddit story family feud parenting raising teens family twins reddit thread Reddit Parenting Fail brothers
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